Round n Round

So, I am having one of those nights you know when you place your head on the pillow and all of a sudden your mind is like a "slips" race from "The Fast and the Furious" minus Paul Walker and Vin Diesel. I just can't seem to get my mind to slow down enough in order to drift off into a nice deep sleep. I guess I do have a lot on my mind lately. 

Lately it seems like my faith in God, the one who created me, the one who gave his son for me, has been very much tested. I know God is there for me, I know that he has the best plan for me. But why is it so difficult to just simply live that. I am so tired of where I am in my life, outside of my beautiful bride and the love I have for her, I am so dead in life otherwise. Sometimes I think that is simply my fault, am I trying to ask too much too often? 

More times than not I feel like Denise from "The Cosby Show" always analyzing who I am and what I want to do with my life. Typically ending in something to do with helping other people in other countries. But why would God use me to do something like that when I can't even trust him completely now. 

So I decided to break up the lack off sleep by reading from Colossians 3. Paul is telling the church at Colosse that new life in Christ requires a higher standard of living. However in verse 15 it reads "And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are all called to live in peace. And always be thankful"

Thank you father for your constant reminders that life in you is eternal and knowing you provide peace is sufficient enough. Thank you for not making everything so simple, thank you for struggle, for making us better. We love you and are thankful. 

So now as I try to get some sleep, I will continue to pray for my anxiousness but most of all I know I have peace in Christ Jesus.